1st CNY without him..

This is the first Chinese New Year without him, our routine for the CNY is in a state of utter chaos this year.

Although the usual CNY all these years were actually simple, boring, nothing special, but at least we feel like we're together as a family, although most of the children at my age would not follow parents to visit their relatives & friends but our family were in one every year.


This year~ I was seriously wished CNY would not reach. The feel ain't the same anymore, we are not in one, our family not perfect at all. The reunion dinner last night was meaningless, deep in our heart we know someone's missing, a chair is empty.




Today is the first day of CNY, we usually greeted mom & dad "Gong Hei Fatt Choi" first thing in the morning and grab angpaus, then start our vegetarian breakfast, watch TV, visited to relative/friends house, looking for programs in the shopping malls or temples, etc.


This year = nothing.


I wonder how will the second day (年初二) be as we'll visit to grandpa's house as usual, many relatives and friends there (That's the day I like the most in CNY cause I usually grabbed many angpaus & get to gamble). But I'm worry how will people look at us, strange/weird eyes? Or asking how's life? How do we coped with the days without him?


After he's gone, I think I'm the one who can't really get over it, always remind of him, recalled memories with him, teared. Guess that my mom can cope better than me. Yea I know life still goes on, I should have let go and cherish those by my sides. As long as he knows I love him still deep in my heart. I shall do my best in everything, fight for my resolutions, fight for a reason, fight for him!


By the way, the good thing is I've really grown up a lot because of him. I'm glad I able to contribute to the family, trying to pay my responsibility as an eldest daughter & sister. Hope i did okay and going well.


HAPPY RABBIT YEAR! I wish the hopping rabbit will brings everyone of us energy, prosperity, wealth & health! GONG XI FA CAI =)